Why The Nachos Are Insecure

So I took a trip over to the Nacho website recently just to see what all the fuss was about when it comes to them not admitted defeat in any sort of manner. I thought to myself, “maybe they do have thoughtful arguments about why we have lost all of our battles according to them”.

So I strolled on in and MAN is that site orange! I needed to borrow some sunglasses from my last post. I scrolled down a bit and found this post about our last battle.


Make sure to put a Nacho graphic behind the text on all of our posts to remind everybody they’re in the Nachos.

Well, I suppose I should break this bad boy down to help make sense of the average Nacho post. So let’s get started.

Hola Nachos! [And everybody else]

After a long battle with the RPF today, we have successfully defended Snow Fort! Despite RPF spending EIGHT HOURS on Club Penguin in total and recruiting the entire day [RPF likes playing Club Penguin! What a tragedy!], they still could not defeat us or pass us in size. [Besides the fact that RPF had more troops than you]  The battle ended up being a long one since the RPF once again refused to surrender or log off making the battle last up to an hour. [You stayed for an hour]  Again and again, we were the one’s who had to keep attacking and chasing [Literally the exact opposite of what happened] the RPF since they were too afraid to come to us for a fight. [We’re more worried about your ability to pay attention]  According to RPF “rules,” they are supposed to be attacking us… they don’t even follow their own rules [It’s almost like you didn’t watch the video of us attacking you], what hypocrites!  Room after room, we chased RPF as they retreated again and again, [Are you positive you’re not actually leading RPF?] but they still refused to log off.  At this time, RPF troops were begging to log off for a break[Getting your troops to go to RPF chat and complain about logging off might be the oldest trick in the book]; however, RPF leader Pain refused and ignored his own troops [Ignored Nacho troops]requests.  He declared that RPF would never log off Club Penguin until we did first[If you don’t want to play, you don’t have to win either], so since we had already won[Because having less troops and running out of the rooms RPF kept filling up is winning], we said “screw this”[“I need to go type this post to convince anybody who wasn’t there that we won” and logged off to celebrate our victory. (RPF stayed on CP for another 30 minutes after we were gone.)

Absolutely, amazing job today, Nachos!  I commend you all on your great efforts throughout the entire battle and staying on and fighting until the battle was over.  There is no doubt in mind that you guys are truly the greatest and really why this army is so great[Bad].  I promise you that tomorrow’s battle will definitely not be that long; 30 minutes at the very most, nothing more; I promise.[“I know you guys are all 17 years old and hate Club Penguin like me, so I’ll try to make sure to type this post faster tomorrow!”]

RPF is breaking down, Nachos.  Hang on and keep on fighting!  We’re almost there; it’s almost over, just a few more battles and they are finished![“We’re going to declare victory and tell you guys that the RPF surrendered because we made a bunch of our troops join them and then rebel from Lord Pain so the RPF leadership is in a shambles and then they can’t fight us anymore”]

Promotions will be given out this weekend, so keep up the great work!  For today’s battle and everything that you have done, you will be greatly rewarded[With more of these posts], I assure you!

The post then goes on to display 55 photos of the battle, most taken between two minute periods in a single room, shuffled around so they’re not fully chronological to make it look like we retreated a bunch.

They then claim there are 50+ Nachos when the best picture has 40. Not to mention, the RPF Xat had two pools compared to theirs during this same time period.

It doesn’t even take brains to realize this, head on over to this post on the RPF site and watch the battle for yourself.


Wait a second, 55 pictures? Really? If the Nachos are winning so hard, why would you need to post 55 pictures of a battle? Why would you post pictures of our chat too..? But most of all, why did you spend time cropping them? RPF can’t catch the “spies” taking pictures since the soldiers complaining are the same people who take the pictures. “Finnalope”, “Damiere” , “Wilson”, “Thebean”, “Dolphan” and “Jack d” aren’t even on the ranks page. You guys could have taken the time to at least SIGN UP so I didn’t even have this point.

Further more, why’d you make a “Club Penguin Nacho Cheat’s” site if you were beating us already?

I know we’ve been being the bigger penguin here by not making any posts bashing on the Nachos, but this post took me ten minutes to type up, and I feel like it’ll set some things straight for those who don’t attend the battles.

It’s just the fact the Nachos have gone the extra mile to make sure we look bad when we’re not. Which isn’t cool. That’s not how you play Club Penguin Warfare, and it won’t gain you a very big edge. Our blade is already sharpened to say the least. Over 1,000 join applications sharpened. Elmikey sharpened. Being the good guys, sharpened. Screw it, we’re a Gatling gun!

~ Commando717

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Posted in Home, War News
9 comments on “Why The Nachos Are Insecure
  1. hadger1 says:

    I hope that nothing that I say offends you guys. Just so you know, I’m not really serious about it. I’m sure that you guys are very smart, so whenever I say that you guys are stupid or whatever, I don’t really mean it. 🙂

  2. CIAN130 says:

    Nice post 🙂

  3. Elmikey [ʀᴘғ ʟᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ] - |2007 Legend| { ƒĩɢɦŦ Ŧɦ£ ɢøøƊ ƒĩɢɦŦ } says:

    Lol! Good post!

  4. X says:

    I read the post about today’s battle too. Basically they’re saying that they won even though they logged off!! They should call themselves hypocrites!

  5. […]  http://clubpenguinrpf.com/2013/07/24/why-the-nachos-are-insecure/ […]

  6. Wow, the Nachos are evil, and cowardly. They can’t even own up to their own defeats.LAME!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Blake/Vdmman says:

    This is hilarious. I got at least eight laughs out of this!

  8. Richard Davis says:

    Funniest post I have ever seen.

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