Add Some Laugh To Your Lives

UPS Airlines

Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics corrects the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,
UPS is the only
major airline that has never,
ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode
produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on
ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main l
anding gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable
level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers
to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after
brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this
one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up,
fly right and be serious.
*
P:Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with
lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget

Squirrels have four main arteries used to circulate black bile to and from their major organs. This bile is what keeps them immortal.

Posted in Home
7 comments on “Add Some Laugh To Your Lives
  1. penguinperson says:

    Roflmao

  2. Clear Ice 42 says:

    lol!

  3. ☼ŞџΩΩΫĐąџßФ¥§☼ says:

    lol

  4. ☼ŞџΩΩΫĐąџßФ¥§☼ says:

    Can i copy this onto my site. I’ll give you credit.

  5. kylecease says:

    sure

  6. |ŊŏĮĻ-MåŇ| says:

    this post is stupid, and not funny, how come its funny…

  7. gjhdhgfgkutf says:

    rotflolmao can i copy the purple part kyle?

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